Published on: Jul 29, 2016 @ 22:16
Do you ever wake up in the night and remember the smallest details of an event? I did in the weeks leading up to Penelope's 1st birthday. I started remembering every single detail about the minutes leading up to her being born. I remember the day before she was born we had Isabelle's eye checkup at PMH, her very last one.
We didn't get home until late that night and I had a funny feeling but I couldn't work out what it was. Next morning I went to my weekly OB appointment which was at 10am and then I was at the hospital by 12noon, and I had to 'go' to the loo. I knew, I knew this was the last few moments of my pregnancy. It came on pretty quickly and before I knew it I was 3cm, even though i wasn't dilated at the appointment and we though we could stretch out a few more weeks.
It's the little things I remember about that day, memories I had put into the back of my mind. The smell of them cutting me in theatre, the pushing and pulling and panting, the fear in some of their eyes. How the room was silent when they were working on Penelope and I had to ask if my baby was ok and if it was a boy or a girl. The noise of something which sounded like a vacuum sucking my guts, which would have been better if they took it out of the legs and butt at the same time, mind you. All these little things I had forgotten. My recovery was hell, I couldn't get out of bed or the car or a chair properly for 4 weeks, I hate my cut. It saved my daughters life, but I hate it. Today is Friday the 29th July, today marks 1 year since I met Penelope properly, today marks 1 year since I was able to hold her. Today Penelope is 1 year and 6 days old.
This year has gone so quickly. I look back at photos and Isabelle was a baby when we had Penelope. She had only just started crawling. We want time to stop for a while, the kids are at that age where we are having so much fun. That saying of 'don't blink or you'll miss it', well its true. When you have another child in the mix, life just seems to go by too quickly. Penelope is almost walking, you can have a proper conversation with Isabelle and she tells you how she is feeling and what she wants.
Izzy & Pea is starting to form its on little identity. It is hard work and I spend a lot of time on it, working out what works and what doesn't. I find new pieces often, though making the call on whether to stock them is a hard one. You see, we don't want to be like most of the other children's boutique's. We want to be different. It may not be everyone's cup or tea, but we don't all drink from the same cup. We have new brands arriving this Spring, collections that i thought long and hard about taking on, and collections which we won't be stocking anymore. There is a reason for everything. We try to please everyone, and I take customer service personally.
Working in Hospitality for so long before I became an accountant means Customer Service is embedded into my blood. I hate disappointing people, I dislike it when people aren't happy with their items and this is what shapes us. This is what assists me with my decision to no longer stock that brand, as harsh as it may be.
You are the one shopping with us, you are the one who makes the call on what stays and what goes. I have learnt so much about retail in the past 7 months that I find it quite challenging, though challenge is what keeps my brain functioning. You gain followers, you lose followers. You gain people who want something for nothing and you gain friendships with your customers.
Our way of life is changing, social media is changing it, it is forming who we are as business people. I walk down the streets and the shops are dead, the carparks are empty. For most, shopping online is easier than going into the stores. Kids screaming, kicking clothing, distracting you, it all becomes too hard sometimes. I actually wonder though, is everything being readily accessible from your phone, besides a hot coffee, mould us into a future of homebodies? Maybe, maybe not ?
Is there just not enough variety in the different stores at the shops and thats why people aren't going anymore? They all have the same stores in each shopping centre, not many open something different and unique. And those that do, take the gamble. Is it safer to open online where a customer can visit any shop they want, unique, handmade or from a production line ? Something tells me that it is. Items are priced different as there aren't many overheads, I just don't know. All I know is that I want to be that online shop that sells unique items, different items, handmade items, items you want in your homes and your children wearing them.
How does my anxiety handle all of this ? Well it doesn't, I have had the worst anxiety for the past 2 weeks that it has actually frightened me. I have had two freakout moments and gained a migraine from it. Yes I may do too much, yes I can't sit still, but I don't want to, that is my problem. I have pains that I thought would have gone by now, it's been 12 months since I had Penelope but they haven't gone.
It's time that I start getting help for the things that I should be getting help for. PNA is horrible, you get worked up over the smallest things. It isn't fun, it is horrible. If you don't push yourself to do something, you will find any excuse to not do it. And it is actually rather easy to find that excuse not to do it. PNA comes and goes, for most you wouldn't know we suffer from it as we can cover it up pretty well. But when you're me and don't want to disappoint anyone, getting worked up in yourself is better then letting someone down.
Having two 28 weekers has changed our lives. We always wanted more kids, but when we look back on the past 3 years and having 2 miscarriages before the girls, something tells us we aren't meant to have that big family we always wanted. We are so grateful that our two are healthy, they maybe small but they are feisty. But I think our time of making a family has finished and we are now just going to focus on our family of 4 and enjoy every moment we have together. We have the busiest year coming up with the build of our new home, and we are having a studio downstairs for Izzy & Pea, so people can come look at our collection which I am pretty excited about.
Over the next few weeks, I will be introducing you to some of our brands. I asked the owners a questions about their brands and can't wait to share their responses with you. These people are amazing and you will soon learn to love where your items came from even more.