Published on: Jun 9, 2017 @ 15:05
The best thing I ever did for my anxiety was come off the pill, even though I didn't know that would be would the result
After having Penelope via emergency cesarean I knew there just wasn't something right. I couldn't move for 2 months after having her, it was an absolute struggle having to climb out of bed every 3 hours and express. I couldn't lay on my back or my left hand side and having Isabelle naturally, I was none the wiser. I just kept saying, you can stick this shit if you elect to have a c-section. This recovery has balls on it. After what I thought was a few months, ended up being a year. Around Penelope's 1st birthday I was telling Greg that my cut was still sore and I notice that my scar looked weird, it was red and swollen and whenever I got my period it would burn like no tomorrow and pulsate. I would bend over in pain some days. I had ultrasounds and tests done only to be diagnosed with incision endometriosis. I had a couple of choices, go back in and be cut back open, ummm hell no, or go back on the pill and skip my period.
So I chose the latter and went on the pill. I have peed on a stick more in the last 12 months then I have in my life because I forget to take it some days and don't know where I'm at with it. I would sometimes even have a period for a month. Eventually I had had enough and I decided to ditch the pill. Which has turned out to be THE BEST THING I EVER DID.
My scar has now shrunk and the pain is sometimes still there, but my anxiety has diminished. I am so much calmer, I'm relaxed. I am not letting the smallest of things worry me, I find myself laughing again and enjoying being with the kids again. My body is still getting rid of all the toxins from taking the pill for 12 months and skipping 10 periods. My skin is terrible and I am bloated and tired. I won't put it all down to the pill, but by shit I will blame it for how I have felt in the last 12 months.
I have been off it for 2 months now and I will be interested to see how my scar pain goes and if it doesn't get better then will have look at having to go in and hopefully get it all fixed.