Isabelle - By Ally Filinski 

Isabelle was born in June 2014. Up until 7 weeks ago we never spent a day or night apart that was until her sister was born.  We had no idea she was going to come when she did.  We had no idea that the path we were about to go down would change our lives forever.  Its a rollercoaster and it can break even the strongest of people.  But when you hold their little hand and whisper to them that everything is going to be ok and they will be home before soon enough, the noises of the alarms and the nurses and other babies crying are turned off and you can only hear the little breathes of your baby, you know no matter what happens your a mum and nothing else matters.

My little monkey is the apple of my eye and I know she has her daddy wrapped around her finger.  She is a character and has inherited my trait of speaking with her eyes.  Which is a good thing, except for if you're at rhyme time and the mother who is sitting next to us gets a bit over the top and your daughter turns around looks her up and down then looks at me and raises her eyebrows.  Which is exactly what I would do ! With big stone blue eyes and the longest eyelashes she steals everyone's heart.  But having a 28weeker as your first child is the last thing you want and to have no idea of if they will survive or what lies ahead is the most darkest moment of your life.  But after 17days on CPAP she was breathing on her own, putting on weight and sleeping a lot.  It wasn't until she was 33weeks gestation that we started breastfeeding and 3 weeks later Isabelle had nailed it and we were allowed to go home.  I elected for her to be immunized in hospital as premmie babies can struggle with apnoea and have to go back onto CPAP or HHF.  Home at 36+4 weeks old, this tiny little 2.4kg baby.  Ummmm there's no alarms or nurses around and I can hold my baby when I want, I mean I can actually hold her without having to ask, I never want to put her down.  I never want to share her, I don't want anyone else near Greg or I for days, weeks, months.  The whole experience of taking a new born home is a feeling I am yet to experience, but taking our little Isabelle home was like breaking out of jail and knowing that you will never be caught and no one will say, 'not today love, she is tired and needs to rest' or 'are you ready to put her back in the cot now' ( she's only been out of the cot for 30mins).  Unless you have been through that feeling of looking at your baby through a glass wall it is hard to fully get a grasp of the gut wrenching feeling.

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